Originally posted by [H]彈水阿給 at 2006-1-31 18:51:
近日,我腦海中不斷浮現出為數不少的彩虹冒險小說情節,於是我毅然決定認真的寫一部成功的作品.
其實以前我都構思,或者動筆寫過少量以其他遊戲為主題的小說,不過我只能說那些作品不是粗製濫造,就是未完成的失敗作. ...
Originally posted by bnobno1516 at 2006-2-3 22:27:
叫「劍光亮彩虹」吧xDD
...
憑個人的意思力,法力,以及自然界的力量可以改變物質...
Originally posted by edenli at 2006-2-4 16:43:
船長=水男?
占卜=土女?
邪神=新風男?
仲有仲有...
是意志力吧?
仲有點解愛瑞利會勁過隼,明明佢無讀到個段...唔應該第一 >哼<
[ Last edited by edenli on 2006-2-4 at 04:54 PM ]
Originally posted by [H]彈水阿給 at 2006-2-3 18:42:
「這位同學,不要聊天,留心聽我講課.」瑪莉指著隼說,全班立即哄堂大笑.「好了,我們出去足球場練習放魔吧.」瑪莉說完便帶領全班到窗外的足球場上
Originally posted by [H]彈水阿給 at 2006-2-4 18:00:
多謝你提醒,我已經改番.
仲有真係估唔到除左我自己同痔痕仔之外,會有人對篇小說咁投入,好感動bao_29
Originally posted by ●隼◎ at 2006-2-4 14:40:
我建議你參加寫作訓綀班~你d作文好差!
Originally posted by ●隼◎ at 2006-2-4 22:40:
我建議你參加寫作訓綀班~你d作文好差!
Originally posted by bnobno1516 at 2006-2-4 19:15:
有點口語成分,用「使出魔法」比較好。
以下仲有d問題,唔好怪我狠評…
1)入魔法學校果度,隼同愛瑞利只係睇左d書就可以考第一、二,
咁唔通其他人唔識睇書,你既故事好似話過有十個名額,
不如你 ...
Originally posted by ●隼◎ at 2006-2-4 22:40:
我建議你參加寫作訓綀班~你d作文好差!
Originally posted by 含香腸三世 at 2006-2-5 13:07:
支持支持你
Originally posted by 寧謐.宗 at 2006-2-5 14:40:
放魔果度其他同學係咪有d出土,水魔架>v<?
Originally posted by 寧謐.宗 at 2006-2-5 14:40:
放魔果度其他同學係咪有d出土,水魔架>v<?
Originally posted by grando00637 at 2006-2-5 19:59:
呢次唔係太好睇,有d悶
Originally posted by [H]彈水阿給 at 2006-2-5 09:52:
我建議你參加評語訓綀班~你d評語好差!
如果你覺得自己寫得好過我好多既話,就唔該貼出你既大作比我地欣賞下!
真心話:我驚淨係論長度你成個故事都冇我一回咁長
Originally posted by bnobno1516 at 2006-2-7 14:59:
又唔洗咁串人既…觀點與角落…實有人對你既文反感既(雖然係少數人)
而且你篇文又唔算長…建議唔好囉黎同人比…
(實不相暪…我一話都長過你好多-.-"')
今次第7話,唔可以話悶既,伏筆做得唔錯…
...
Originally posted by [H]彈水阿給 at 2006-2-9 16:49:
由於昨日某些非常特殊的原因,我總是覺得第八回後段寫得太差,
如果今日內有超過5人支持,我會修改第八回的部份內容.
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